I heard an awesome sermon today...

I decided to go to San Rafael today down in RB as a way to change up my routine and possibly see what another church has to offer in terms of potential dates (a few, but none compare...) and a different expression of the Liturgy.

This church is not like other Catholic churches, as it is of a more modern build. The building is octagonal in shape but round on the interior, the evidence of octagonality left in the ceiling and overhanging walls. At first, I thought this church was a Protestant one since there were no kneelers in the pews, but a quick look around showed me that I was indeed at home; The crucifix, holy water, the stained glass, the Stations of the Cross, all reminders of my holy place. I guess I should have realized it was a Catholic church all along because the only way I found it was because of a statue of Mary in front of the garden. :)

The sermon I heard today was, to put it lightly, amazing. The Gospel dealt with the parable of the seeds and finding fertile ground.

Matthew 13:3-8

"Then he told them many things in parables, saying: "A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown."

The priest talked about the power of just one seed and what one seed can have on the world. He spoke of the implications of trees to parallel this parable and spoke of how it affected us.

Somehow or another, he got into the subject of Creation and how the 6 day theory was an explanation by the ancient writers how to comprehend God the best way they knew how. He said that the 6 day theory only limits God to human terms and does not encompass his infinite reach. He quoted Romans 8:22-23 as a supplement to this:

"We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies."

He went on to talk how Creation is STILL going on in everything, such as the shape and size of humans throughout history, the discovery of new species, the adaptations that have evolved, everything! It tells me that the Word of God is a LIVING word but not all-encompassing and not totalitarian in edict. To me, this speaks of a great and many liberating thoughts. This gives me my faithful resolve. This gives me hope. :)

As I was listening to this sermon, I couldn't help but think of my estranged love. I remembered all the times I sat and talked with her about this very thing, but I never knew just the right words to say. I then thought of her smile and her frown, her look of protest and of glee, our trip to Big Bear and watching movies on the couch, all the good times and the weird ones too. During these sermon-induced flashbacks, a strange feeling of hope came over me and I smiled, despite holding back a few tears. I felt hope that all will be OK again, that maybe my feelings aren't misplaced, that I still have a chance.

I will know in October, God willing. He knows I am praying and hoping but it is His will and I will follow it wherever it may take me.

I just wish she were here to share it with me.

-N8